Human Traditions
by EntityThatExists
Summary: One day Kolivan showed up, bringing with him a message they all had feared.


**AN: What ratin o you give a story for the excesive use of the f word?**

It started out as a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary, just flying the castelship to another planet to negotiate its people joining the coalition. None of them would have thought that this would turn out to be one of the most miserable days in their lives.

"A ship showed up on the sensors princess." Informed Coran.

"Who is it? Galra or Coalition?"

"It is a transport from the blade. They are hailing us."

"Put them through."

Kolivan's face showed up on the large screen on the bridge.

"Greetings Kolivan." Said Allura "What brings you here?"

Kolivan hesitated before answering "I think it's easier to explain in person. May I come aboard?"

"Yes of course." Allura answered in a concerned voice. What could be so harrowing that the usually straightforward Kolivan was having trouble saying it?

Kolivan went on: "And could you please make sure that all the Paladins are present?"

"Uhm of course … Just meet us on the bridge. You know the way, right?"

"Yes. Thank you, princess." Said Kolivan as he ended the call.

"All Paladins report to the bridge!"

* * *

A little later the team was assembled on the bridge, waiting anxiously for the blade.

Kolivan entered, caring a dagger and a jacket, a red jacket, a red jacket that looked suspiciously like …

"No. No!" Said Lance, rejecting what they all immediately understood was their new reality.

"I regret to have to inform you …" started Kolivan. He got interrupted by Shiro punching into the ships controls out of frustration. "I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect you. Why? Why?" He whimpered over and over. Lance fell to his knees stared at ceiling and mumbled incomprehensible words, Pidge lowered her face as tears began streaming down, Hunk just started bawling his eyes out.

Coran averted is gaze for a second, shed a tear and then tried to regain his composure to support Allura. She was standing there, shaking, trying to look like Princess, a leader instead of a little scared girl.

Kolivan continued:" ... Keith … unfortunately has died."

"I'LL KILL THEM!" screamed Shiro "THESE FUCKING GALRA! I'LL KILL THEM! I'LL KILL THEM ALL! My brother, my little brother. These DISGUSTING … Cut my arm off see if I care BUT LEAVE KEITH OUT OF THIS! I'LL KILL THEM I'LL KILL THEM!" He was clearly losing it. Coran put a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down a little bit.

Lance meanwhile had been reduced to an empty shell, no anger, no emotion at all. His eyes looked like he had died three days ago, which fitted pretty well how he felt, empty and defeated.

"He died fulfilling his duty!" Kolivan carried on, once Shiro's rant was finished, just to be interrupted by the next rant.

"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Pidge "I don't give a FUCK if he fulfilled his duty you asshole! I want Keith BACK YOU HEAR ME?! … I just found one brother again … I don't want to lose another one … "

Allura was dead silent, poor Keith, poor innocent Keith, the Paladin she had treated like shit for no other reason than his heritage. Keith didn't even get mad at her, he just forgave her. She remembered apologizing and how readily Keith accepted it, he was too good a friend to be true.

"I think I spare you the rest of the details." Said Kolivan while placing Keith's jacket and dagger on the red Paladin's chair. "I'm sorry but this is all we could recover. Since Keith grew up human we thought it was more appropriate to perform a ceremony following human tradition so … I think I should leave now." He walked out the door, back to the hangar.

Silence. Just soft sobbing from everyone.

That is until Lance suddenly started chuckling. "Really? Fucking REALLY?" He questioned no one in particular while tears flowed from his eyes "Hahaha! It is actually kinda funny! FUCK YOU! Universe or god or whoever. You think you're funny, right?! I spend months denying my crush, accepting it and then working up my courage to ask Keith out and then you just fucking kill him?! Fuck you! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" He returned to simply crying. Crush might have been a little understatement, love would have been more fitting, but that didn't matter anymore, nothing did, Keith was gone.

* * *

The next day they gathered at the bridge again, none of them looked like they sleep much.

"Well," Coran began "let's give the boy the funeral he deserves."

Silence.

"Where … Where was Keith's from?" Pidge asked with small hiccups interrupting her.

All eyes turned to Shiro but he didn't answer, he was completely lost staring into ground. Lance did his best to pull himself together, he sat down next to Shiro and pulled him into a tight embrace. Shiro lost it again and started crying, Lance followed soon after.

The ships sensor made an annoying beeping noise. Coran took a look at them. "It's the blade again." He said confused.

"Tell them to land and come to the bridge," ordered Allura "Perhaps they found something else that belonged to Keith."

A few minutes later Kolivan came through the door and right behind him

"KEITH!" yelled Lance. He ran over to Keith and just kissed him on the lips. Keith was surprised but the just decided to kiss back. After the kiss he spoke: "Ok we should talk about that but first …" He was interrupted by Shiro taking him into a bone crushing hug.

"You're alive!" Shiro whispered.

"Not for much longer. I can't breathe!"

The rest of the team joined in the hug. "Guys, thanks for the warm welcome but …" Keith got interrupted again, this time by a very pissed Pidge.

"YOU!" she said looking at Kolivan "You owe one BIG explanation good sir!"

"I think I could provide that," started Keith "If Shiro allowed me to breathe again."

Shiro loosened his grip on his little brother but he sure as heck wouldn't let go.

Keith took this opportunity to explain what happened: "You see, a few weeks ago during a meeting Pidge and Lance played some pranks on the members of the blade. Cliché stuff like whoopee cushions and such, but galran culture doesn't have anything like pranks. They asked me to explain what all that was about and I tried my best to convey the idea the human tradition of a prank to them. The blade immediately took it as a challenge and declared that they would prank you too."

"IT WAS A PRANK?" yelled the Paladins in unison.

"Uhm … gotcha?" said Kolivan trying to joke.

"I didn't want to get involved with this." Continued Keith "But yesterday my dagger and jacket went missing and Kolivan got back from somewhere declaring to 'have bested the Paladins of Voltron in their own game'. So, I asked what he meant and … yeah. Just thought I should tell y'all I'm not dead."

"I'm sorry." Said Kolivan "I didn't know that I was supposed to tell you that it was a prank. Keith also explained to me that it went to far, I'm sorry about that too and …"

"No joke you nitwit! It went to far!" interrupted Lance. "You made us believe one of the most important people in our lives was dead!"

Keith blushed "… uhm thanks?" he said a little unsure.

Shiro, who still clung to Keith spoke: "Everyone in favor of wrapping Keith up in multiple blanket and never letting him leave the castle say 'Aye!'"

"Aye!" yelled all of the team.

"Wait, what?" was Keith's response. Hunk and Lance ran out the room yelling something about getting the blankets.

"Uhm … I kind of need Keith to come back with me." Said Kolivan.

Allura answered wearing a fake smile: "Oh Kolivan? You're still here? Didn't you say you were leaving?" her voice was filled with malevolence.

"Uhm yes! That's what I said. Bye!" The leader of the blade of marmora essentially fled from the bridge.

"Wait! Kolivan!" yelled Keith after him but it was to late. Lance and Hunk had returned and they and Shiro captured him with multiple blankets.

Keith had to spend the rest of the day satisfying his friends need to hug him to affirm he is actually alive. Well, there are worse fates he guessed.

After some time, he looked at Lance, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. "So, about that kiss .."

"Nope! Don't remember! Didn't happen!"

 **AN: BAMBOOZELD AGAIN! Ok how many did I actually fool? Like 2 people probs. I really didn't know how to tag this like tragedy would be a lie but humor would give away too much ?**


End file.
